The advantages of marriage or cohabitation (living together) are also often the disadvantages of staying single and unattached. Although I tend to be an advocate for the single lifestyle, especially in your 20s and 30s, there are clear benefits to being married after 40 and especially after 50.
This assumes that you have a healthy relationship, however. If you don’t and the love is gone, living with someone who does not care about you can be unimaginably painful. I’ve witnessed this situation with a severely ill man and an uncaring wife in their late 70s. It was heartbreaking to watch. But if you have a loving partner, their presence and support can provide psychological nourishment, healing, and joy!
Here are the advantages of marriage or cohabitation, which also happen to be the disadvantages of staying single.
Support During Hard Times
If you get sick, have a downturn in your business, or lose your job, there is a loving person nearby to care for you and encourage you. The need for support in each of these areas increases as you age.
Other people can be helpful, but only the one you live with will fully know your daily struggle. Therefore, they will be best positioned to give you the support and encouragement you need.
Cheering and Encouragement
Having someone near who inspires you with a look, a smile, or a kiss each morning makes a huge difference in how you perform at work. Knowing that you’ll get the same treatment when you return home is also motivating.
It is often noted that women, especially men, go further in their careers when married. They are inspired to strive even further if they have children. This is not to say unattached singles do not go as far in their careers because many have extraordinary success. But on average, people responsible for marriage and children tend to go further.
When I use the term “life partners,” I am referring to two people in a committed romantic relationship who live together (cohabitate).
Sharing Joyful Moments
Moments of victory are sweeter when you have someone nearby to share it with who knows every aspect of your journey. Other people may be happy for you, but only the person who lives with you will truly understand and appreciate what it took for you to accomplish the goal.
If you’re working toward a common goal with your spouse or life partner, like buying a dream home, each accomplishment made individually toward that end will be a cause for both of you to celebrate.
Fills in Social Network
When you’re young and healthy with years of opportunity ahead, it’s difficult to imagine needing the support of a spouse when your parents, siblings, and childhood friends are still around. After 40 and especially after 50, a person’s social network is usually much less. A loving spouse or life partner can fill in these holes. An unloving one can make the holes bigger.
You can merge your social networks with a spouse or life partner. So once you’re married or living together, your social network can instantly increase.
Continuous Companionship
It is nice to know that you always have a person to go out to dinner with, go on a vacation with, or shop for a new refrigerator with. It’s comforting to know that you’ll never spend a holiday alone, go to your company’s annual holiday party alone, or recover from an illness alone.
Whether going through bad or good times, you will always have a companion with whom to share your burden and joy! There will rarely be lapses in receiving support, encouragement, and love.
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When you’re single, getting the things described above from a romantic partner, a friend, or even a family member usually requires planning, advanced notice, and sometimes negotiation on times, dates, and locations. Holidays for singles can be an unappealing choice between attending events as the only single person among dozens of couples and their screaming children or being alone. During times of celebration or difficulty, there may be phone calls or lunch with a friend, but eventually, you’ll end up alone at the end of the day.
There are, of course, advantages and disadvantages to both. There are unwritten rules of obligation when you’re married or living with someone. You’re obligated to help even when you don’t have the time, go on a cruise when you’d prefer a quiet vacation in the mountains, or attend a dinner party with people you do not like.
When you’re an unattached single, you decide what you will and will not do. This is not so easy to do when you are married or living with someone unless they are a very evolved and secure person.
The value and the importance of the advantages and disadvantages of each lifestyle are determined by the psychological makeup of the individual. If you like a lot of freedom and alone time, then being single has more advantages. If you like a lot of daily support and companionship, then being married or cohabitating has more advantages for you.