There are circumstances when we need to escape from our problems. A break from the pressures and troubles of our lives can refresh us and give us clarity. The problem arises when we do things to the point where we never face the truth about ourselves. To make things worse, we may select means of avoidance that are physically and/or psychologically damaging.
In addition to activities being used to avoid facing the truth, they can also be extremely self-centered, self-gratifying, and spoiled, child-like behavior.
Here are the ways we avoid facing the truth about ourselves.
1. We consume alcohol, illegal, and prescription drugs. Whether you drink a few glasses of wine every night or just party on the weekends, the intoxication, hangover, and withdrawal prevent you from seeing things as they truly are. The same is true when you take drugs, whether they are illegal or prescribed. And this applies to all the grossly overprescribed antidepressant, anti-anxiety, and anti-“whatever” medications for the constantly growing number of “disorders” that psychologists and psychiatrists pride themselves in naming.
2. We find fault in other people, places, and things. This one is widespread. By finding faults in other people, places, and things, we avoid and postpone facing our own problems and shortcomings. We are intrigued, in an unhealthy way, by the faults we find in others. The news media and many talk shows provide the “stuff” for what often becomes an addiction of sorts.
3. We argue about trivial matters. Arguing about unimportant matters is a colossal waste of time. Sometimes referred to as nitpicking, this behavior is a way to avoid the real problem areas in your life.
4. We watch television excessively. TV is a great escape from reality to a concocted reality. By being a devoted serial television viewer who plans their life around TV shows, you live a fantasy life through other people. What can you possibly gain by surrendering yourself to this activity? Zero! Just escape. There are a few worthwhile programs on TV, but you must be selective and avoid being sucked into the TV marketing machine.
5. We watch movies excessively. Occasionally, a movie comes out that tells a valuable story worth watching. The majority provides no benefit except, yes, you guessed it, escape. If you’re a person who watches a large number of movies every week, you are living in a fantasy world. You may be running away from the actual realities of your life. Or you’re trying to live your life through the imaginary characters and stories in the movies. It becomes like a reverse version of the lifestyle depicted in the classic film Sunset Boulevard
6. We sleep more than we need to. During stressful times, we need more sleep than usual. Our bodies and minds work on healing themselves during sleep. The problem arises when we sleep excessively to avoid something. You know you sleep too much when you feel like a zombie while awake.
7. We shop for food and supplies more often than needed. There are many other activities that you could add to this list of ways to kill time with busy work that is rationalized as productive. If you go to the grocery store every day to buy your daily meals, then you are using this activity to avoid something or fill a space in your life.
8. We shop for things we don’t need, which will pleasure us momentarily. The pleasure of buying is often reinforced by the images implanted in our subconscious by advertisers. The satisfaction of owning the new product rarely fully delivers on the promises shown in the commercials. And once you’ve had it for a couple of days, the initial rush of buying it is usually G-O-N-E—another wasted day shopping.
9. We eat more often and in greater amounts than we need. If you are overweight, you could write this paragraph yourself. Overeating is a way to avoid facing some painful truth. Occasional binge eating acts in the same way.
10. We take vacations that we can’t afford. If you constantly take vacations you can’t afford, you are running away from facing important issues in your life. Vacations are meant to replenish your body and soul, not deplete your grip on reality. If you are addicted to the excitement of travel or use it as an excuse to eat and buy anything you want (more escape), there’s a problem you are hiding from.
11. We work incredibly long hours at our jobs. Working long hours while neglecting family, social, or personal responsibilities is a sign of avoiding something in your life. It’s easy to rationalize long hours as a means to advance your career. The problem is that when you take a close look, you usually find that you’re not working smart but working carelessly in order to work longer hours. This behavior only leads to burnout, not success.
12. We work out at the gym or play sports excessively. If working out at the gym or playing sports occupies a considerable chunk of your daily life, you’re avoiding something. It’s easy to fool yourself into believing that more is better regarding exercise, but that’s not true. The only “more” that’s better is quality, not quantity.
13. We surf the internet, play video games, and gamble excessively. It’s easy to escape for many hours doing these activities. The problem is that little benefit can be derived from them except for lots of escape.
14. We read trashy blogs, social media, and digital news excessively. Although reading for learning is a productive activity, most of what is read by those who use it to escape is junk. I am talking about reading fabricated stories, conspiracy theories, and malicious gossip.
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Facing the truth about yourself and your life is the first step in self-improvement. Until you can look honestly at yourself and your history, your efforts will miss the targets you must hit to succeed.
Take a hard look at each of these areas in your own life and decide if you are using them to avoid or escape important issues in yourself or your life. Until you face the problems you’re avoiding, your life will not get any better. And it will never become what you want it to be.
Rather than acting passively through avoidance and escapism, take control of your destiny. This will require that you accept responsibility for everything in your life today, take an honest look at yourself, and then take the necessary actions to create the life you want.
Maturity is the key here. A child expects things to come easily. A mature person knows that to get what you want, you must face the truth and act accordingly. Once you commit, you will be liberated from the chains of fear.