There are countless definitions and quotes about courage. We may read them to discover it within ourselves or find the inspiration to act with valor.
All too often, people do things that they believe are courageous when, in fact, they are acts of cowardice. The behavior may feel courageous to the person doing it, but it is not true bravery—it is the exact opposite.
The two key conditions of bravery are “the unknown” and “perceived danger.” A related component is the lack of a “clear advantage.”
Most of what is written about courage describes what it is. I will add a new dimension by defining courage by what it is NOT. Here’s a list of common behaviors that are NOT acts of bravery.
- Behaving aggressively, forcefully, or unkindly toward a customer service representative, food server, porter, or valet.
- Behaving aggressively, forcefully, or unkindly toward someone who works for you or rents your property.
- Behaving aggressively, forcefully, or unkindly toward a person without cause because you’re a police officer, judge, coach, or teacher.
- Behaving aggressively, forcefully, or unkindly toward someone alone while one or more friends are backing you up.
- Behaving aggressively toward a person who has a clear disadvantage because of their size, strength, ability, age (young or old), or sex.
- Behaving courageously while you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
- Speaking hatefully about a person or group simply because they don’t share your ethnicity, nationality, or religion.
- Committing an act, in a secretive way to avoid ever being detected, that damages a person’s body, property, finances, career, or reputation.
- Speaking angrily and critically about a person behind their back to other people.
- Committing an act of terrorism, no matter how small.
- Shooting an animal with a rifle or other lethal weapon for sport or to eat.
- Choosing a behavior or activity that you’ve done successfully many times before.
- Making and acting on a decision that involves no risk, change, or unknown factors.
- Posting “anonymous” critical, hateful, or damaging information about a person, company, or organization on the internet.
True acts of courage can yield many rewards. However, there are no shortcuts to bravery, and there is no way to earn the respect of others through fictitious or deceptive acts of courage.