Most people have had a time when they tried to get a girlfriend or boyfriend back who had broken up with them, even though it was absurd. Myself included.
This is a follow-up to my article, “Should You Try to Get Them Back?” You’ll learn the answer to that question in my story about a heartbreaking Christmas Eve I experienced many years ago. I had an awesome comeback, though, that still makes me smile.
I was in my mid-twenties, trying to find my way. Good jobs were hard to come by, and my girlfriend of several years was growing impatient. She wanted the things only a high salary could afford.
Jenny had landed a good job at a well-known international company. Within a few months, I sensed that she had met someone new. There were the increasingly frequent trips after work to the employee’s bar hangouts, secretive phone calls, and a major shift in her attitude towards me.
My intuition was screaming at me, but my limited experience caused me to ignore it. I wasn’t ready to face what I was sensing. I have since come to trust my intuition, especially in situations like this.
Then, one day, out of the blue, she told me she had met someone new and didn’t want to see me anymore. I asked who the guy was, and she said it was one of the executives at her workplace.
I was heartbroken. I felt like a failure in my relationship with her and my ability to find a good job. The fact that she had taken up with an executive who probably had a high salary made it even worse.
I wasn’t ready to let her go. So, I began a quest to get her back. Not long after I finally moved on, I realized my efforts were ridiculous and humiliating.
I wrote her letters and poems. Amazingly, I had never written a single poem before that time. I left flowers and gifts at her door. I got no response from her whatsoever.
I lived in a tiny apartment in a dingy building across a busy street from her large apartment in a perfectly maintained building. Being so close, I often saw Jenny and her new boyfriend getting in and out of his brand-new Nissan sports car. I felt like a total loser.
Christmas was approaching, so I decided to make one more grand effort to get her back. I wrote her a long poem that professed my undying love and devotion. (This seems funny to me now as I write this.)
I knew that she would be spending Christmas Eve at her grandfather’s house, so that’s where I decided to make my last attempt. I put her name on an envelope with my letter inside and attached it to the front door of her grandfather’s house well before the event began. (This was before email and text messaging, which would have made it infinitely easier.) At the bottom of the letter, I asked her to signify her decision to be with me by turning on the exterior light next to her grandfather’s front door or turning it off if the answer was no. I even gave her a time that I’d check.
I drove anxiously to her grandfather’s house at the appointed time. When I arrived, I just sat in my car, not looking at the light, while I worked up my courage. When I was prepared, I turned with hopeful anticipation toward the light. It was off! I just slumped in the seat with grief. Still unwilling to accept the truth, I exited my car to look closer at the light to ensure it was off. It was. 🙁
It’s incredible what our minds will do at times like these. It’s almost like our brains try to be kind to us when reality is too painful.
My comeback!
I left, and a few days later I decided to move on. I began this process by taking massive action to improve my life. It wasn’t long before I landed a dream job with a popular international corporation. Within a few months, I had a new apartment and was dating again.
I worked in the department that managed their extensive fleet of company cars for managers and executives. These were not your typical company cars. They were all popular luxury and sports cars. One day, after several months there, my boss entered my cubicle and threw a set of keys onto my desk. He said, “Enjoy tooling around in this over the weekend.” It was the keys to the most sought-after sports car of all! And it was brand new! I was beside myself, considering the embarrassing car I owned.
I knew immediately where I’d drive that beautiful sports car when I got off work. Yep! You probably guessed it — Jenny’s apartment. Although I had driven these sports cars many times in the course of my job, I shook with excitement when I got into this one, knowing it was mine for the entire weekend and where I would go first.
I drove directly to Jenny’s apartment, and as luck would have it, she and her new boyfriend were getting out of his new Nissan sports car. Mine was the hottest sports car in the country. As I drove slowly past her, I tapped on the horn, waved, smiled, and powered away! I am not vengeful, but that was one of the sweetest comeback moments of my life. I want to do it again right now! 😀
It wasn’t long before I had a new girlfriend who was a manager for a distinguished U.S. company. Once I was with her, I couldn’t remember why I was so upset about losing Jenny.
I eventually became the youngest senior manager at that company in the United States. And Jenny wrote several letters asking me to forgive her and reconsider. Although we never got back together, we did become friends. I have many fond memories of our good times together.
Lessons
- If your girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, or spouse has decided to be with another person, do not waste your time trying to get them back.
- The next relationship is almost always better than the last.