Here is what I learned from going to hundreds of singles bars and events. The frequency is probably in the thousands.
Definitions
- Singles events include singles dances, mixers, and brunches.
- Singles bars are any bar, pub, or nightclub where most patrons are single.
- Singles gatherings include singles events, singles bars, and singles groups.
- Singles groups include singles clubs, meetups, and singles groups within a larger organization like a church.
Here is what I learned.
- The greatest commonality among singles at singles gatherings is everyone is alone.
- Most people at singles gatherings are desperate to replace a lost love, find a date, or have sex.
- Desperation, expectation, and competition at singles gatherings create an environment that greatly reduces the likelihood of quality matches.
- Singles gatherings are “not” a good place to find a highly compatible partner.
- The women I met were nearly always a poor match for me.
- None of the great loves of my life were found at singles gatherings.
- 90% of the time I spent at singles bars was a waste. 10% was fun.
- Zero expectations make it possible to at least have a good time.
- Alcohol creates fake romance, drama, and twisted perceptions and judgments.
- It also reduces the pleasure of sex, romance, and love.
Do this instead.
- Accept singles gatherings for what they are, not what you hope they will be.
- Do not care about the outcome of whether you’ll meet someone or if they will like you.
- Be yourself. Your kind, humble, fun self. Not your narcissistic, conceded, bitter self.
- In singles groups, focus on building friendships first, then fellowship with the membership, and lastly, romantic relationships.
- Most groups and people do it the other way around.
- Create a detailed description of every aspect of your perfect partner. This image will help lead you to them and draw them to you.
- To find highly compatible romantic partners (and new friends), join clubs, groups, and organizations representing your “greatest” passions!
Greatest passion = greatest love.