Finding a perfect partner is not possible. However, some partners are a better fit for you than others. The gulf between these two extremes can be vast, making the effort to find a quality match worthwhile. Compared to those who are a poor match, a partner who aligns with your personality, values, and dreams will seem nearly perfect.
Finding a highly compatible partner is very important to most people. We may be motivated to do this when we recall the ugly fights we saw our parents get into, reports of nasty relationship conflicts from our friends, or our own history of battles with bad matches. Even with considerable motivation to avoid such outcomes, many of us continue to seek partners in a haphazard manner. Here are some of the methods we use to find partners indiscriminately.
Fate & Religion
It is good to have hope, but relying on fate to bring you and your ideal partner together will likely result in a very long wait. It may also result in you misjudging a person whom you believe “fate” brought to you when, in fact, they are a dangerously poor match for you.
There are also religious doctrines that I’ve been told about, which instruct followers to allow God, the Universe, or a higher power to bring an ideal partner to them. I won’t dispute whether this is possible. But based on the history of “religious organizations” that often create their own definitions of matchmaking, I only suggest you carefully consider this before settling on this course of inaction. I understand that God, the Universe, or a higher power helps those who make their desires known and take courageous action toward achieving them.
Family & Friends
Allowing family and friends to play matchmaker is a practice that most of us have experienced at some point in our lives. These matches are rarely good. This happens because these well-meaning individuals select people based on what they feel will be an ideal match for both them and you.
No one can select a partner for a friend when they know the person they’re picking will also be in their life, without doing so with their own compatibility criteria in mind. In addition, their knowledge of your extensive, lifelong criteria for a perfect partner is limited at best.
I’ve never once been set up for a date by a family member or friend that resulted in a good match. In fact, they were usually a disaster. I was often surprised by the severity of the mismatch. Eventually, I figured it out and politely refused all future invitations.
Online Matchmaking
I’m a big fan of online matchmaking services because of the sophistication of their matching methods and their vast pool of participants. Never before have we had such an incredible way to bring about quality matches until the internet was invented.
There are two weaknesses of online matchmaking services, though. First, a company’s matching criteria (or algorithm) may not accurately align with what you want and need. Secondly, the concept of “chemistry” cannot be encoded into any computer software. Only the immense capability of your brain and subconscious mind can make that assessment when you meet them in person.
Smart Way
Devote as much time as you need to precisely identify the qualities, characteristics, and attributes you want most and least in a partner. This would include everything from personality traits to physical attributes to future aspirations. Then review this list daily until it is firmly implanted in your mind.
Once you’ve done this, you will be able to effectively recognize quality matches as you encounter them, online matchmaking services that align with your criteria, and individuals who satisfy your chemistry needs when you meet them.