How do you get to a major change point? I’ll tell you how I’ve done it and how and why it works.
To get to a major change point to give up a toxic relationship, an unhealthy drug (nicotine, alcohol, other), junk food, a sedentary lifestyle, negative thinking, and more; and become self-confident, drug-free, a healthy eater, a daily exerciser, an optimist, and more; you need to do the things described below. Some of them you may already be doing, but not to the force required to pull or push yourself over the hill of habit or addiction to where you want to be.
You must reach a major change point to generate the energy, motivation, and determination needed to give up a bad habit and/or establish a good one.
Major Change Point Components
- Get really fed up about what you want to change. Even mad. Or even furious.
- Get a clear view of the benefits of making the change.
- Memorize a list of the top 3-7 benefits and make them a “mantra” that you repeat as many times a day as needed to “pull” yourself to your goal.
- A mantra is something pleasing that you repeat in your mind to create a positive outcome.
- Get a clear view of the detriments if you do not make the change.
- Tip: Do not allow yourself to rationalize or bargain with yourself to continue as you have.
- Memorize a list of the top 3-7 detriments and make them like an emotional “kick in the butt” to use “as needed” when you need an extra “push.”
- Tip: Do not make them a mantra that you repeat in your mind. This can lead you to the adverse outcomes you envision.
- Ignore advertising messages about how you cannot make the change without a program, treatment, counseling, medication, or some gadget.
- Get powerfully determined by doing all the above daily to whatever degree is needed.
- Stay open to a positive replacement for the thing you are giving up. For example, if you drink alcohol to relax and raise your mood, perhaps meditation or aerobic exercise will serve as a satisfying alternative.
- Tip: Do not anxiously search for a replacement as if it’s a requirement to succeed. It’s not. Just start doing all the things you have been putting off because of the bad habit immediately!
- Schedule some rewards at key milestones. These might be after a week or a month has passed. Rewards can be simple pleasures that you usually do not do, like buying yourself a gift, taking yourself to lunch, or going to a park.
- Tip: Just put your start day and reward dates on your calendar. “Do not count” hours, weeks, days, months, or years.
- Tip: According to experts, withdrawal from a drug (nicotine, caffeine, alcohol) usually takes about 3 days, creating a new habit takes about 21 days, and creating a new lifestyle takes 30-90 days. Creating a new lifestyle is the fun, exciting, and growth-filled part.
- Start enjoying the benefits and end result on day one. In other words, live as though you have already achieved your goal. This will give you positive energy and pull you to it.
That’s the formula I used to give up a toxic relationship, cigarettes
I hope this helps you find a major change point leading to victory!