What do you do when you’ve outgrown family and friends? This can lead to quite a dilemma, especially involving people you love. I will share some ideas on how to understand and deal with this.
If you’ve been working hard on your personal development for years while your friends and family have only dabbled, then it’s likely you may have surpassed them. And today, you may be living a much different lifestyle from the one they became familiar with.
Here’s an example. If you’ve been moving toward a super healthy diet for years and now you’re a vegan, your family and friends will not know the benefits of this choice like you do. This may lead them to dismiss or mock your vegan diet. And you may cringe when they order a double cheeseburger, chili fries, and a milkshake at a restaurant because you know what that kind of diet will do. You want to share your knowledge, but you don’t, to be polite.
Being into optimum living through personal development is an uncommon path. For example, most of the population does not eat a 100 percent healthy diet or exercise regularly. Just count the number of obese people you see next time you’re in a crowded public area.
I’ve had people imply that I was a fanatic because of my vegan diet and exercise schedule. Of course, those same people are grossly overweight and eat very unhealthy food.
When I go for my power walk in the fall and winter and swim in the spring and summer at 4:00 a.m., I’ve never seen another person doing the same. I’ve seen a few people later in the day, but only a few, and never at 4:00 a.m.
People who are not interested in optimum living don’t know anything better. They are ignorant, and they may not want to know the truth. It may worry you to watch a parent eat food that you know will shorten and reduce the quality of their life. Don’t leave it to their doctors to fix things, though.
One of the people who half-jokingly called me a fanatic because of my vegan diet went to the hospital because of chest pains. The hospital “machine” put her on their heart surgery conveyor belt. Her surgeon did four (4) heart bypasses and a valve replacement. Eight (8) days later, at a cost of nearly a million dollars, she was dead. This happened at the leading hospital in the area. The most astonishing thing about this hospital is the food they serve to staff and visitors in their cafeteria. It is nearly all junk food like hamburgers, pizza, chips, ice cream, candy, etc. They serve the food that leads to people needing a hospital, medication, surgery, and other medical treatment. Many of these documentaries (on this site) do an excellent job of explaining this.
There may be other ways you’ve outgrown family and friends that are more difficult to ignore when you’re around them. If you’re into personal development, you know the power of your thoughts, focus, and words. You understand the importance of keeping these on what you want and away from the negative.
You may have pessimistic family or friends who are always thinking and talking about negative things. They criticize, complain, make excuses, and become depressed. In the past, you may have joined them right away. But you’ve grown, and today you are no longer a pessimist but rather an optimist. What do you do with these people?
If you’ve grown beyond a person or several people in your life, here are some suggestions for dealing with it.
- Do not preach, promote, or sell your new lifestyle to others. Just be an example to them. Don’t talk about it unless they ask. If they do ask, be sure to find out “what” and “how much” they want to know, e.g., summary versus details. If you don’t ask these questions, your enthusiasm may lead you to share 10 times more than they wanted.
- Establish new boundaries. Let them know who you are now, e.g., an optimistic, non-drinking, vegan. At the first occurrence, let them know what type of conversations and activities you will not participate in, e.g., hate talk and drinking games. In other words, renegotiate your relationship.
- Limit or end contact with anyone who doesn’t support your growth or ambitions, makes you feel bad about yourself, or brings you down when you communicate with them. Sometimes the toxicity of a relationship is so subtle that you don’t see the damaging impact until years later or after you’ve been away from them for a while. So be vigilant for this as well.
Don’t compromise your self-growth or state of mind for anyone, including relatives. I should say relatives in particular, since they often feel they have the right to do and say anything they want because you’re “family.” Not so. The only relationship that is unbreakable and crucial to your happiness is the one you have with yourself.