To have relationships that are enjoyable, harmonious, and constructive, you must make your ethics, rules (or boundaries), preferences, likes, dislikes, and ambitions clear to others. The more clearly people understand these things, the better your interactions with them will be.
First, identify and define these areas for yourself. The most effective way to do that is to put them in writing. If you then review this information until it becomes solid in your mind, you’ll be guided by it.
There are various ways to communicate this information to others. You can do it verbally, in writing, and through body language. It is not nearly as important how you do it as it is doing it. This requires conviction and courage.
One of the best ways, however, to convey this information is in writing. An efficient way to share it is by creating a personal user manual (PUM). Then you can offer it to people who are important to you, especially a lover, to read.
Here is what you might include in your Personal User Manual (PUM). The word “rules” in this context is synonymous with boundaries.
A description of your…
- Ethics
- Philosophy
- Politics
- Religious beliefs
- Communication style
- Friendship rules
- Partnership rules
- Relationship rules
- Romantic rules
- Favorite places
- Disliked places
- And so on…
If you really want to add some gravity and formality to your manual, create a title page, a copyright page, a terms of use page, and an introduction page.
Reviewing your manual periodically can help keep it active in your daily life.
Personal User Manual (PUM) – Download
I put together a personal user manual template that you can fill in. It includes all of the above and much more. It’s in a Microsoft Word format. There is also a PDF example. After you’re done adding your information, you can secure and share it online by printing it to a PDF. To share it offline, print a copy and put it in a soft-cover binder with fasteners.
Get a copy here: Personal User Manual (PUM)
Use: Close friends, family members, and business partners.
Format: Microsoft Word & PDF