Some of the qualities of date and mate getters contradict what you might imagine. Some of them are the same or similar. Others are counterintuitive.
The most important aspect of these qualities is that they attract outstanding potential dates and mates who are an excellent match for you! Without these qualities, you’ll likely settle for whoever comes along, and they will likely settle for you.
Here are the qualities, characteristics, and attributes of date and mate getters.
They are…
Not in a desperate rush to find a date or mate.
It’s ridiculously easy to detect those at a nightclub, party, or singles event who are desperate to meet someone that night to date or have sex with. The men blatantly check out every woman in the room. The women act sexually provocative and forward. The men make rude, sexually suggestive comments. And the women make subtle, sexually encouraging comments.
In my early years of dating, I sometimes entered nightclubs and dances with this urgent state of mind. Usually, it was after a breakup. I almost always failed to make meaningful connections each time I did.
In contrast, I’d have much better luck attending these activities in a calm, confident, and fun-seeking state of mind. I’ve gotten the same report from many highly successful date and mate getters.
Able to put themselves on the line.
They dare to let those they are attracted to or love know how they feel. They can do this without concern about getting the reply they want. Their goal is to let the other person know how they feel, thereby planting a seed and building their courage.
They realize that finding a good match for a date or a mate is a numbers game. They know that the more times you try, the closer you are to succeeding. And since they’re trying more often than most people, they have more dates! Or, at the very least, more friends. 🙂
Not trying to look, act, or be perfect.
Instead, they focus on enjoying the moment, having a good time, and just being themselves, imperfections unhidden.
Putting on an act is a lot of work. It hides your best qualities. And you’ll have to deal with the discomfort of being discovered for who you are later.
Fit emotionally, physically, socially, and financially.
If you don’t have these areas under control, you’re entering a relationship from a position of weakness. Moreover, you are putting your potential partner in an unfair situation of having to compensate you in the areas where you’re deficient.
For example, if you have massive credit card debts, would that be a fair burden to bring into an exclusive relationship or marriage?
On the other hand, if you are fit in these areas, you’ll have a healthy confidence that will attract a person of similar status. In contrast, if you are unfit in these areas, you’ll likely attract someone with the same problems.
For further information on this topic, read this article: “Self-Evaluation & Preparation for Relationship Success.”
Content being alone for an extended period.
For those who have never become comfortable being alone, when they are not in a relationship or in one that is not going well, they become desperate. They settle for less in their partners and in how they are treated.
If you can learn to be content when you’re alone, you won’t be in a rush to find a new partner after a breakup, and you won’t stay in a toxic relationship. If you’re afraid to be alone, a bad relationship can become a hellish prison.
Date and mate getters are cool and relaxed when they are looking for a partner (which is attractive) and can end a bad relationship because they have learned to be happy when they are alone. And because their partner knows this, they are treated with respect.
Intimately aware of the qualities they want in a partner.
Having a precise list and image of the characteristics and attributes of your ideal date/mate dramatically increases the likelihood of finding a good match. Date and mate getters have learned how important this is. They know from experience that without a target, they waste time with people who are not right for them.
If you don’t have a comprehensive description of your ideal partner, you’ll likely find yourself hooking up with people who are a poor match for you or worse.
***
The main difference between date and mate getters and those who fail is their optimistic attitude and determination to have quality dating and relationship experiences.