I was sitting in a bar at the top of an elegant hotel with my boss and his boss. My boss turned to me out of the blue and said, “Brad, you need to take a stand.”
Although my boss was smart, principled, and funny, he often drank too much and said inappropriate things at inappropriate times and places. This was especially true on this occasion.
He told me that winning the district manager of the year award meant little. I had won it all three years that I was in the field. This national (U.S.) award featured generous cash and gift prizes, an overseas trip to the company’s manufacturing headquarters, and a multiday tour of the country, so it was a big deal. I gave the trip to the second-place winner in years two and three. Our conversation took place after the third-year winners were announced.
He then said that the award did not accurately measure the important performances of a district manager and that I needed to “take a stand.” I was confused by both comments and wrote them off to the effects of alcohol.
It took a long time to fully understand and appreciate his words. He talked about taking a stand on your principles and desires and having the courage to enforce them.
I may have said parts of this, but here’s how that incident would have played out regarding a response after taking a stand in life. I would have said, “You set the rules. If the award means little, change the criteria, and let’s see how I do.” Realizing I was dealing with an intoxicated asshole, I would have stood up and said, “Gentlemen! It’s been nice talking with you. Goodnight.”
With long-since developed stand-taking and an unwillingness to put up with any bullshit, my record since then proves that my response to my boss would be exactly as described. But you can’t go back. Monday morning quarterbacking means nothing in terms of taking a stand. Monday morning quarterbacking is just a lame “shoulda woulda” look at missed opportunities to be courageous and take a stand.
I ran into my former boss at industry events, where I was a speaker a few times after he left the company and I was promoted. His behavior toward me was very different and respectful. Although his method that night was misguided and inappropriate, I’ve come to find value in his message. And I still admire his grit and humor.
I encourage you to take a stand on your principles, beliefs, and dreams. You’ll be immensely proud of having done so down the road.