I have always seen myself as an underdog, a black sheep, and a rebel. Even before I understood the meaning of these words, I knew I was different from my peers.
I guess everyone feels different in some way. It would be impossible to experience the world in any other way since we are each unique yet very similar.
What defines an underdog, black sheep, and rebel from most other people is their unique experiences and how they conduct their lives. This usually means that they go outside of traditional social norms.
Of course, there is a fine line between constructive and destructive activities outside social norms. This is where these people often get into trouble.
The flip side is that people with highly unusual early life experiences and a propensity for challenging social boundaries often have superior intellect and creativity. Is this not true for you if you identify with one or more of these labels?
Looking at the great achievers throughout history, which ones would you identify as an underdog, black sheep, and/or rebel? If you have some knowledge about the backgrounds of great men and women throughout history, you recognize that many of them share one or more of these characteristics.
Mozart wasn’t a conformist. He didn’t follow the composing traditions or the composer’s conventional lifestyle for that period, if the movie about his life, “Amadeus,
Often, people who do not conform to their family, neighborhood, school, or country traditions while growing up and/or as adults are met with ridicule, exclusion, and punishment. In some countries, this punishment can be severe. Sometimes it can mean mutilation or even death.
I am not talking about people who act out in negative ways that hurt people or damage property. And I am not talking about negative self-expression in a person’s appearance to shock rather than just being who they truly are.
Individuals who choose this path are not choosing but rather following. A gang member is not truly a rebel if he must commit to the gang’s harmful practices and rules or face severe retribution. The only male and female leaders who have truly succeeded throughout history are those with positive principles and objectives serving others.
So what are the benefits of being an underdog, black sheep, and/or rebel? Simply put, they frequently excel in their ability to succeed, produce, give, and love. Who do you think would be a better lover? The person who closely follows the so-called moral or religious rules that s/he learned as a child? Or the person who analyzes the rules and seeks education and progress over strict traditions.
Many people, including myself at one point, associate being an underdog, black sheep, or rebel with being a failure in life. Or at least being predisposed to it. Because of the negative associations society places on these labels, it’s easy to feel that way. But now you know better. Being one or more of these things has equal advantages and disadvantages. It all comes down to choice and point of view.
Are you going to choose to look at being an underdog, black sheep, or rebel as an advantage and strength? You should do so because each of these characteristics has the potential to propel you to achieve extraordinary things in your life.
When I was sitting in a jail cell at the age of 15, I couldn’t escape seeing myself as an underdog, a black sheep, and a rebel who was destined for failure. It took quite a while to break away from those self-defeating attitudes and turn my life around. I began the transition by doing push-ups in my cell every day. Later, I added reading self-improvement books and journaling to my cell time activities. I went on to a boys’ home where I attained the most coveted position and graduated with a small scholarship for college. There were a few bumps, but I kept moving toward my goals.
The odds of a person being successful after being incarcerated for an extended amount of time at a young age are extremely rare. Fortunately, I was one of the rare ones. Today, I look back with pride on that experience and being an underdog, black sheep, and rebel.
Advice for Parents with Underdog, Black Sheep, or Rebel Sons
Suppose you have a teenage son who is behaving incorrigibly, and it is not due to serious drug or criminal problems. In that case, I have this advice: Give him clear guidelines, but also give him your love, support, and full attention by just listening! Then let go, relax, and allow his transition from boyhood to manhood take its course.
Avoid getting a psychologist or psychiatrist involved. If you do, do not blindly follow their directives without investigating alternatives. Do not put him on any medications unless you are sure he has a serious mental illness. Do not “ever” be the one who puts him in jail or juvenile hall. Placing him in a boys’ home can produce positive results, but only as a last resort.
Read this article, Incorrigible Boy Successful Man, for more of my story and advice.