Many think their most important relationship is with their girl/boy friend or spouse. They constantly anticipate and work toward that end if they don’t have one. They consider this romantic relationship to be central to their fulfillment and happiness.
This way of thinking places an unfair amount of responsibility for a person’s happiness on the other person. This mindset is selfish and immature and is the reason for many relationship problems.
Overcoming such ingrained behavior is a difficult challenge but not impossible. The key is to accept 100% responsibility for your own fulfillment and happiness. This starts by looking at your relationship with yourself. You see, the most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself.
If you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself, it will reflect how you handle a relationship with someone else. This is especially true of a romantic relationship with a much greater impact.
In addition, if you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself, it will manifest in how others treat you and what you are willing to put up with. In other words, you may not stand up for yourself and let people know when they are crossing your boundaries.
If you have problems in your relationships, you may suffer from one or more of these issues.
- Low self-confidence
- Poor self-image
- Lack of self-love
- Insecurity
- Timidity
- Fear being alone
At the beginning of my dating life, I suffered from low self-confidence and a poor self-image. Because of these issues, my choice of women was bad, and I was often treated in ways that were far less than I deserved.
After I gained self-confidence and a positive self-image, everything changed. The women I chose were of much higher quality, and our relationships were more even-handed and fulfilling.
Although it took some time and a few major accomplishments to develop a positive relationship with myself, many books were the catalysts that got me on the right track. They may be helpful to you as well. See them all on the suggested books list under the categories “Relationship Skills,” “Self Image,” and “Life Skills.“
Work on your most important relationship first — the one you have with yourself. Make it a priority. Then, you’ll attract a quality partner or enhance the romantic relationship you’re in now. You’ll also improve your other relationships and be happier in them.